When You Don't Have the Answers

When You Don’t Have the Answers

When I lived in Honduras I conducted a weekly prayer meeting and Bible study in the home of a lady in the church. Here name was Maria and she lived with her daughter Maira in a barrio in a rough part of the city. They were precious people who loved God. Though the house was small it was always clean and this Bible study was the highlight of my week.

In addition to her daughter Maira, Maria had a son. He was a drug addict who I had been told lived in the streets. I had never met him. One night we returned late from a church function to a death message. Maria’s son had been found dead. I didn’t learn the details of the death but I do remember the funeral because it was the first one I had taken part in.

In most Central American countries funerals are quite different than in North America. The bodies are not embalmed so they must be buried within 24 hours. The family goes to the funeral home, picks out a casket and waits while the body is prepared. They usually wake the body through the night, having a service sometime that night or the next day. Then they go to the graveyard and have a service similar to what we would do here in the U.S. The main difference is that they wait until the casket is buried before leaving the cemetery. I have often thought this practice to be harder on the families than if they left before the body is buried.

We arrived at the funeral home to find the family already gathered. Sister Maria saw me, grabbed me in a hug, and begain to wail, “Mi muchachito, (my little boy) he went to hell.” I prayed with her and tried to comfort her as best I could. There were no words that I could really say. I didn’t have all the answers.

I stayed with her and a hand full of others through the night at the funeral home. After daylight the family members who had gone home returned. We had a short service where I officiated. The whole service was probably fifteen minutes. By this time I was bone tired and everything seemed surreal.

I resisted the urge to give an answer because there were no answers to give. I simply talked about the love of God and assured them that he would bare their griefs. I talked about the holiness of life. Maria had several small grandchildren and I emphasized that God had given hope for a future generation through the children born into the family.  Many times we as Christians feel weak in trying times because we feel compelled to give an answer. We seem to think that the unchurched expect us to have an answer for everything. I think they know that we do not have such an answer. We do ourselves and them a discredit when we try to come up with an answer.

I am convinced the best thing we can do for people in such times is just to be there and show our love and concern. We can let them cry on our shoulders and pray with them. We can let them know that God is concerned and the Holy Spirit is a comforter. If we are asked “why” it is best to answer honestly; “I don’t know.” The greatest witnesss that we can give is when people see us go through difficulties and yet we have peace.

Recently a fellow minister contacted me for advice on how to conduct a funeral for a five-week-old baby. The baby was born with health problems and did not make it. Naturally the family was devastated. I gave him the same advice. Don’t act like you understand when you don’t. Just be there to help the family make decisions and offer your support. Let them know that God loves them and will help them through their grief. Talk about the sanctity of life and assure them the baby’s short life was not a waste. Above all just be there and they will appreciate you for it.

Do you know someone who is going through a hard time? You may not feel like you are strong enough to be the comfort they need. You don’t have to be. You just have to care and that makes all the difference in the world. The next time you are confronted with a similar situation why not pray this prayer:

“Lord, help me to be a comfort to this family. Help me to show them through my love that you love them more than I ever could. Comfort them in their grief and give me the right words to say. In Jesus name, amen.” 

We will all speak Spanish in heaven

Galatians 3:28 - There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Have you ever felt like a stranger? Perhaps you were in a room with people you didn't know and felt totally out of place. If you've ever been to a foreign country you know what it feels like to be an outsider. Though you may learn the culture and language of the people around you, a part of you always knows where home is.

I was on a bus once in Central America when a young man heard my accent and said, "where are you from?" Then he asked, "what are you doing here?"  He probably didn't mean it to sound as harshly as it came out; he was just trying to be friendly and helpful.  I admit I was  a little startled. I was still learning the language and the culture and didn't quite know what to expect. After he learned that I was doing mission work we had a nice conversation and he shared several things about the history of his country as we traveled.

One guy in Honduras used to tell me that everyone would speak Spanish in heaven so they'll be no communication issues. Of course it was a joke but his message is somewhat true. One day there will be no more division between race, class, language. those with money and those without, etc. That heavenly Jerusalem will be a wonderful place where all of God's children are finally united in true peace.

How I long for that day when we hear Jesus say, "well done, enter into the joy of your Lord." There is no treasure on this earth that compare to the beauty that awaits us in that heavenly paradise. I am determined that nothing shall keep me from that place. I long to see Jesus and what he has prepared for me, don't you?

Earnestly Awaiting,
Rev. Sullivan Jones

 

A Carton of Milk and a Soda

Not sure why but I woke up doing some reminiscing about Honduras. It has been 12 years since I lived in that beautiful country and yet the events God brought to mind this morning seemed as close as yesterday.

I was standing outside the Bible school with several of the young men who were studying. We had a taken a break in between classes and were enjoying a soda and a snack from a nearby concession stand. There was one older gentleman there who had come to the city to study from somewhere in the mountains. I can't recall his name but I do remember that he always had a pleasant smile and sought to please. It was obvious that he had not had much education and he could barely read. What he did have was a desire to study God's word and he spent long hours doing his best.

On this morning he walked out smiling and began to talk with the rest of us. I must admit that I was too consumed with our conversation to notice that he was the only one without a snack. Suddenly one of the other young men reached into his pocket, pulled out two Honduran dollars, and gave them to the man telling him to go and buy himself a snack and a pint of milk. I felt ashamed because I had not been paying attention to the fact that he did not have a snack. Two Honduras dollars was only about 12 cents for me but for these guys it was real money.

Another time I came out of my office and saw of couple of guys drinking a soda. Another student asked them where they had gotten the drinks. One of them smiled and said, "two guys came by from out of town and, as they were leaving, they invited us to a soda." Again, I was a little taken aback. In America almost every house has a refrigerator full of sodas, sweet tea, bottled water, etc. To these guys a soda was a treat that they didn't have every day.

As I contemplate these things this morning I am reminded of all the things I take for granted. Today I arose from a comfortable bed with an electric blanket into a home that was well heated with gas heat. I will enjoy a breakfast as large as I care to cook or buy. I will ride to work in a vehicle with a heater instead of walking or running to catch a bus. I will sit in an office with heat. At lunchtime I will not have to wonder if there will be enough to eat. The biggest problem will be deciding what I want to eat.

The list could go on. I do not feel bad for having these comforts. I wish everyone had them. I believe them to be a blessing from God and I know I can't feed the whole world. Yet I must admit that I so often complain about things that are trivial when I have so much. On my worst days I have enjoyed a life far better than many will do on their best days.

Lord, help me to remember that you have blessed me far more than I am worthy. If I am tempted to complain, forgive me. Help me to love others unconditionally as you have loved me. Amen

Thankfully,

Rev. Sullivan Jones