Teach your child to love!

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, EPH 6:4.

I have read the scripture above hundreds of times and heard a variety of explanations on it. The basic idea seems to be that fathers are not to make their children mad on purpose. My mom used to say that she wished it had said, "Big brothers, don't make your younger siblings mad on purpose." No doubt there is some truth in this explanation but I believe it has a deeper meaning. The key words here are "bring up" and "nurture".

This verse is centered on bringing up children. All of us know that at some point a parent is going to make a child mad. Children are inmature and many times will get mad if they don't have their own way. Realizing that we can't always have our own way is part of growing up. The older a child gets, the more he or she should understand this. Any good parent would rather make a three year old mad than let him have a butcher knife to cut the cake. He may be mad at the moment but he will soon forget it when he starts to eat the cake.

I believe the deeper meaning here is that parents should not pass on their anger to their children. It is so easy to harbor anger. it is then a given that the anger will be passed on. Anger is like a boiling kettle; The pressure has to come out somewhere. Unfortunately, many times the anger is misdirected at the people we love the most.

Are you hurt over a divorce? Please don't let your children hear you talk about their other parent. It will cause them to harbor anger at both parents down the road. Were you treated wrong by an older brother? Don't tell your son, "you remind me of my brother, Sam. Why can't you stay out of trouble?" Many times children grow up with negative feelings towards people they will never meet because of words spoken in a time of frustration.

Instead of passing on the anger, let's fill our children's minds with positive things. When conversations about the offending party come, try something like "I know that person has made some mistakes but let's pray for them." When temptation to share some bitter experience arises think about the influence it may have on your child. Will my child have to deal with the anger I am feeling later on. If so I will choose not to share.

The best gift we can give our children is to teach them about Jesus and his love for humanity. We can not teach them about love and fill their spirits with malice at the same time. God help us to pass on good memories instead of anger and resentment. Make the world a better place, teach your child to love!