Family Relationships

In the beginning God created a perfect world. Then he put humans into the world and nothing has been perfect since (Insert smiley face).  We humans have our share of troubles in this life and many of them we bring on ourselves. One of the first troubles that Adam and Even ran into, after eating the forbidden fruit, was trouble between their sons. The jealousy became so great between Cain and Abel that Cain actually killed Abel. Can you imagine! I don’t think I’ve ever been angry enough to actually want to kill one of my own siblings. There may have been times when they all wanted to put me in a pit and sell me down river like Joseph’s siblings did. But hopefully none of them has ever wanted to kill me. (I’m not about to ask).

All joking aside, family relationships are often some of the most troubling. It wasn’t meant to be that way. Home should be the safest place we have and our family relationships should be the most peaceful. We should all know that no matter what dish lives serves up, our family will be there to make the dish more palatable. Unfortunately, that often isn’t the case. I have met a few people who seem to have the perfect little Leave-It-To-Beaver family where everyone loves one another and all problems are solved by dinner time. It sort of leaves the rest of us feeling left out because our situations aren’t quite so perfect. So what are we to do if we find ourselves in a less than perfect family situation? Guess what! There are no perfect families!

We should recognize that perfect families only exist in sitcoms from the 1960s. Everyone else has problems. Everyone! The fact that we have problems doesn’t make us odd. Problems are a part of life in a fallen world. This includes problems in our relationships. We are all imperfect and we should realize that others are imperfect as well. All of us make mistakes and we should give a little grace to the other imperfect human beings around us- even when these mistake makers are family members. Ever notice that it is harder to deal with a family member’s imperfections than with a co-worker’s imperfections? Why is this? Because we expect more from our family members and often our expectations are not realistic.

Some of us seem to have the idea that our family members should always understand us. This is so not true. We all have different personalities, different ways of seeing the world. Those differences can make the world a beautiful place. They are also the source of much contention. We shouldn’t expect family members to always agree with us or always have the same values. What is important to me may not be important to another member of my family and vice versa. This does not make either one of us intrinsically evil. It just means we have different goals. We can give this grace to our friends and fellow church members so why not to our family members as well!

We should also realize that no family member, whether it be a spouse, a sibling, a parent, or a child, can bring us happiness. Each of us must find his own contentment in himself. We Christians understand that this contentment can only be found in a true relationship with God. When one is at peace with himself and with God then it is easier to be at peace with our family members. Our happiness or lack thereof, is not dependent on what another person does or how s/he behaves. It is far easier to get along with someone when we don’t expect that person to be the source of our inner peace.

All of us should pray for our family situations. Prayer is the most powerful weapon we have against the attacks of the enemy. There is no place the devil likes to attack more than in a family. The enemy knows that if he can bring division in our families he can throw everything out of line. When we see this happening, we should understand that this is the enemy attacking so that we can pray against it. We often remind ourselves in times of strife that our co-workers and church members are not our enemies. We learn to pray for unity when there is misunderstanding. We should do the same in our families.

The family unit is God’s original order for mankind. In the beginning God saw that it wasn’t good for man to be alone so he created a wife for Adam. In time they had children and then trouble started. If you feel like your family situation is less than perfect, you are not alone. There have been family misunderstandings since the beginning of time and there will be as long as the world stands. If we learn to respond correctly, this trouble does not have to turn into strife or bitterness. It can be a time of growth rather than heartache.

The best remedy is to pray for our family members. We should ask God to give us his love for our family members. We tend to think that we should automatically love our family members but this is unrealistic. Love is not natural; it is supernatural. True love can only come from God. If we ask him too, God will fill us with his love and help us to show it to our family members. This love will conquer a multitude of evil and help us to redeem the relationships that are most important to us.

If you have a family situation that is less than perfect, don’t give up. Pray for that troubling relationship and watch God work. It is God’s will that there be peace between family members. No one is beyond the reach of God’s grace; no situation is too difficult for God’s intervention. God hasn’t given up on us and we should never give up on one another.

Blessings,

Pastor Sullivan Jones

Disclaimer: I have the perfect family and none of this applies to us. I am working on my master’s degree in Family Counseling and my thoughts on the subject gave birth to this article. I had no one particular in mind while writing. 

Why I am so Blessed

Today I am the big 4-0; I suppose that makes me middle aged. I realize that to some 40 seems young while to others it seems almost ancient. For all practical purposes it is somewhat of a halfway mark in life and I find it a good time to reflect on God’s blessings. As I look back over my life I am reminded of how blessed I am. I am blessed to know the Lord. I am blessed with a great job that I love and wonderful people with whom to work. I am happy in my marriage and I have a wonderful church family that loves me. Birthdays are often times to think about the passage of time and how fast life goes by. As I thought back over God’s blessings on this morning I could not help but think about how different my life is from some of the people I know. Not that I am pointing fingers but I do realize that my life is much more blessed than the trouble some of my youthful companions have found themselves in. If I could attribute the blessings in my life to anything, I would say there are three factors that have contributed to my peaceful and blessed existence.

First, there were people who prayed for me along the way. Every day of my life I have had people praying for me. I have been blessed with a mother, brothers and sisters, and church members who have constantly held me up in prayer throughout my life. I have had the wisdom of godly people, from Sunday School teachers and pastors, to elders and youth workers, imparted into me continually. I have never had to wonder what to do for very long because there was always someone I could go to for appropriate counsel, even when I didn’t want to listen.

I am convinced that in this life no one gets anywhere alone. If there is a success story, someone had to help. A few years back former President Obama (personal politics aside) made a statement that no one gets anywhere alone; I completely agree. Though it does take hard work and personal effort to be successful, all of us have had help along the way. The most prosperous restaurant owner in the country would not have made it without dishwashers, servers, and cooks. It may have been the kind word of a teacher or a boss who decided to hire us but someone had to give us a chance. Grant it, some people have had more chances than others; I will readily admit that. Yet none of us is an island and I am thankful for the people who have invested in me.

The second thing I can contribute my success to is surrendering my life to the Lord. I was raised in a Christian home and was saved at a young age. Yet I had to make a choice as a young man; I would live my life in search of my own pursuits or seek to follow in the ways of God. While I certainly did not always make the right choices, I remember coming to a point where I decided that I would walk in the ways of God to the best of my ability and allow him to guide my career, lifestyle, and marriage decisions. When I look back on the blessing this has brought to my life, I can truly say I am glad I made the decision to life for God.

The third thing I can say that has brought blessing to my life is the woman I married. I am married to a wonderful, faithful lady who loves God. Not only does she love God, she loves other people. She meets new people easily and can get along with almost anyone. She is a hard worker and loves to be busy for the kingdom of God. I can be somewhat introverted, so having a wife who is outgoing is a wonderful blessing. My wife prays for me, encourages me, and helps to lift me when I am discouraged or feel overwhelmed. I realize that she is truly my number one fan. Though she knows I am not perfect, she tells that I am the most intelligent, handsome man on the planet and I choose to believe her (smile).

I remember a pastor telling a much younger version of me that the woman I married was the most important decision I would ever make, aside from committing my life to Jesus. The middle aged me understands that well. How thankful I am today that I listened to the advice of that elder and chose to spend my life with a god-fearing, faithful woman. I realize that my life would be completely different had a married a woman who not as committed to the ways of God or committed to me as she is.

If I had to sum up thoughts on this day, I would say that I am a blessed man and I am thankful to be alive and involved in God’s kingdom. He has granted me another day, another year of life and I want to give each moment to him. In the words of Corrie ten Boom, "In life or death this is truly all that matters".

Blessings, 

Pastor Jones  

A direct line to God

Have you ever heard someone say that sister so-and-so has a direct line to heaven? I have heard people refer to certain older saints in awe because they seemed to have a special relationship with God? I must admit that I have probably had similar thoughts. We tend to think that certain people have a special relationship with God that no one else can have. Believe me, it just isn’t that way.

In the Old Testament, it might have been that way. The Old Covenant required men to bring an animal sacrifice to the priest and the priest would pray to God for the individual. The average man could not go into the tabernacle for himself. Only the priests could go into the Holy Place. Beyond that was an even holier placed called the Holy of Holies; only the High Priest could go there, and then only once a year. Sorry for the women and children; they were left out altogether.

Under the New Covenant, thankfully, worship is completely different. The New Testament teaches that Jesus Christ became the sacrifice for us (I John 2:2) and that we can all now go directly to God through him (Hebrews 4:16). All of us can pray to God for ourselves because God has made us all priests unto himself (I Peter 2:9, Rev 1:6, KJV). None of us is anymore qualified to pray than anyone else. The door is open to God for us all; the direct line to heaven is never busy and anyone can use the heavenly line to make a call to God at any time.

This is not to say that we don’t need the ministry. The Apostle Paul makes it clear that we do (Ephesians 4:11-13). Neither does it mean that we don’t need the church. Jesus taught us to bind together with other believers in prayer (Matthew 18;19); this is probably because it helps to increase our faith when we know someone is praying with us about a need. My point is that none of us need feel like we are not worthy to approach God or good enough to pray to him for ourselves.

I think many people ask grandma to pray because they know she has a regular prayer life; That is the key. When someone makes pray a daily discipline it is easy to pray. Someone may not feel like he or she is worthy to pray because they haven’t prayed in a long time. They might also feel condemned if they know they have sin in their lives that they haven’t repented of. This need not stop one from praying. If someone feels convicted or condemned when he starts to pray, all he needs to do is repent and ask God to put his sin under the blood of Jesus. Then he is free to pray without guilt again.

We humans tend to make pray more complicated than it has to be. Pray is a one on one conversation with God. A prayer life means that one develops the pattern of daily, consistent prayer. Prayer takes many forms and each person’s prayer will be different. According to a person’s personality her prayer may be loud or soft. Some may walk or kneel and pray; some may sit in their favorite rocking chair and pray. At my house we have a prayer chair. My wife usually sits in that chair to pray and it has become a special chair.

It doesn’t matter where you pray; it doesn’t matter when you pray. The important thing is to pray. It does help to have a certain time each day to call on God. However, prayer is available to us 24/7. If you want or need to talk to Jesus, you have a direct line to him. Make us of it today.

Blessings,

Pastor Jones